Evanesce
by Follow-The-Firefly
Summary: What do you do when the one you love is dying and you can't do anything to save them? AkuRoku oneshot. Rated T for Teen.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. That would be cool, huh?**

**Hey yo! It's Mika-chan! This was kind of hard to write. It's all told from Roxas' point of view. A guide to this oneshot:**

**This is normal**

**_This is a flashback_**

**It'll be helpful. I hope this isn't too sappy. I wanted to write something about Axel's death from Roxas' POV and nothing seemed to work. But I hope this does both of them justice. Let the deadly tale begin!**

As soon as Sora walked into Betwixt and Between, I knew something was wrong.

True, I had already merged with Sora, but that doesn't mean I can't feel anything that's not related to him.

When he walked into the blue abyss, I could tell that something was off. Something bad was going to happen, even though I had no idea what it might be, even though I was still subconscious in Sora, but I was still aware of my surroundings. Sora, of course, didn't notice anything, but I did. Sora wasn't always so keen to observe his surroundings properly.

I had felt suspicious and even surprised when he arrived at the Old Mansion in Twilight Town. It was there that I learned who I really was, that I was a part of Sora. It was there that Naminè told me that I would meet her again. It was there that I fought Axel for the last time before he left me forever.

It was there that I merged with Sora.

As Sora made his way through the Mansion, everything seemed familiar. Dèjá vu, to put it in informal terms. But Sora was seeing everything for the first time. Even though I knew where everything was, I couldn't tell him.

When he discovered the secret computer room, I remembered when I smashed its replica in the Virtual Twilight Town, the town that detestable DiZ put me in. I will forever hate him for that.

I didn't expect Sora to remember my Twilight Town, the Twilight Town I had come to know. He didn't say anything other than that, though. I got the feeling that his companions were somewhat confused by his words, but I understood them perfectly.

They soon made their way to the chamber where I fought Axel for the last time, where I promised him that I'd wait for him in the next life. Of course, Sora didn't pick up on this. After all, his memories of Axel were completely different than the memories I had with Axel. To him, Axel was the bad guy. Axel kidnapped Kairi so Organization XIII could use her as bait to lure Sora to them. The Axel I know wouldn't have done this. He wouldn't have done something so rash if he had another choice.

Then again, I couldn't really influence Sora, so what could I do?

In the corner of the room was a portal, clearly a dark portal. Maybe Sora couldn't tell. He, after all, was just looking for a way to the World That Never Was. I thought the portal seemed out of place, like it was a trap. I wanted to tell Sora this, but he couldn't hear me. So he went onward.

After walking into the portal, Dusks started attacking. After a few minutes, Sora and his companions were surrounded. It seemed that they would loose.

Then he showed up.

I didn't want to believe I was hearing his voice again. He had seemed so furious with me when I left the Organization, but he had come to try to convince me to come back so he wouldn't have to kill me. I knew he'd rather kill himself than to kill his best friend, but I wasn't going to get any answers by staying with the Organization.

But hearing his voice brought back memories, some memories I wish I could forget.

It was so hard trying to tell him that I was leaving. He didn't want to believe me at first, which is what anyone would do. I know he could see the seriousness in my eyes because I could see the fear in his. He tried to convince me to stay, but it was hopeless. Axel was always a good persuader, but it didn't work this time.

Then he came back for me during the Struggle Tournament. He told me that I was the thirteenth member of Organization XIII and that I was the Keyblade wielder. I thought it was crazy. I didn't remember who he was, for one thing. Another reason why I will hate DiZ. Axel made me fight him because he didn't want to have to annihilate me. Then DiZ himself showed up. _That_ was a nightmare. Eventually, both went away and things returned to normal. Well, as normal as they could get.

I met up with him again a few days later outside the Usual Spot. It was then that I learned of his orders from Xemnas to bring me back or kill me. I had learned from Naminè that we were best friends, so I asked him about it. Axel was so happy when he realized that I remembered. But it hurt me to see his reaction when I couldn't remember Xemnas.

I went inside the Mansion where I found Naminè. It was also there that I remembered my last conversation with Axel in the World That Never Was. I knew I couldn't betray Organization XIII, as he said. But I wouldn't have learned about myself if I had stayed. I had to leave, even though I knew I would hurt him.

Then he found me again in the basement of the Mansion. I don't think I'll ever forget the biting sarcasm in his response when I said that I remembered him. As soon as the wall of fire erupted, I knew that he was mad. It doesn't take an idiot to know that a wall of fire means a mad Axel. Then the fight started, the fight that marked the last time we saw each other.

It was after this fight that I remembered the last part of our conversation in the World That Never Was. "You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" I didn't really care much at that point and had said, "No one would miss me" before I started to walk away. That didn't stop me from hearing his reply: "That's not true! I would…" I knew I should have stopped, but I didn't. I couldn't.

Axel said we'd meet again in the next life. I, of course, told him I'd be waiting. His response confused me. "Just because _you_ have a next life…" I didn't understand his words or what he meant by them. Of course we have a next life. Who doesn't? Then it hit me.

Nobodies don't.

I knew who my other was, but that didn't mean that Axel knew his, too. He couldn't merge with his other, like I was supposed to merge with Sora.

Just hearing that sarcastic voice of his flooded my being with memories. Sora didn't notice them: he was too surprised by Axel's sudden arrival, even though it was something he'd do.

I listened as Axel told Sora about how he kidnapped Kairi, but Saix had found her and kidnapped her yet again. I didn't know who Kairi was, but I could tell that she was really important to Sora, so I listened. I couldn't believe that Axel had kidnapped Kairi, but I was forced to believe when I heard his confession.

Sora and Axel joined forces to fight off the Dusks in Betwixt and Between, but eventually the number got too much for them to handle. "I think I liked it better when they were on my side." Typical Axel. Always making jokes during a battle. I was used to it, but I could tell that Sora wasn't. I could tell what Axel was going to do as soon as he jumped away from Sora.

He was going to sacrifice himself to save Sora.

_"Check this out, Roxas!" I could tell that Axel was excited when he found me in Naught's Approach._

"_What is it now, Axel?" I tried to keep up with his pace as we dashed off._

"_I figured out how to do something with the Assassin Nobodies." Axel pulled me through the Proof of Existence._

"_And what is this?" I had a feeling I didn't really want to know._

"_Just watch them!" _

_Axel finally let go of me when we reached Twilight's View. A single Assassin Nobody was standing in the middle of the stairs, a few feet away from us. Its expressionless face watched Axel as if it were waiting for a command. As soon as Axel snapped his fingers, the Nobody burst into flames, killing itself instantaneously. _

"_And why did you show me this?" I asked._

"_I can use this in battle, Roxie." Axel said._

"_Not on yourself, I hope." I shuddered._

"_Yeah." Axel nodded._

_I stared at Axel in horror. Why would he willingly kill himself? That made no sense whatsoever._

"_Why would you do that?" I asked._

"_To save you, for one thing." Axel said._

"_I don't want you to die in order to save me." I said. "We've been over this, Axel. You know how I feel about this."_

"_And you know how I feel about it. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I could have done something to prevent your death, Roxas." Axel said. _

"_And this is a way?" I raised my eyebrows._

"_Yes, it is." Axel said. "It's a last resort thing, and I hope to never need it, but I'll use it if I have to."_

I didn't think he was serious. Then again, he thought I was gone, and he couldn't live knowing he hadn't done something to prevent me from leaving Organization XIII in the first place.

It was horrible to watch the flames engulf his body, terrible to watch his chakram spin around at ultra-high speeds…unbearable to watch him burn alive.

I had been expecting his death to be hard, but no amount of preparation could prepare me to watch him fade away.

Sora didn't realize that Axel was dying. He just noticed that all of the Dusks were gone. I knew. I was watching the flames evanesce from his body. I tried to make Sora run over to him, but I couldn't do anything. Sora finally caught on, however.

He realized that Axel was dying when he made no attempt to stand up, when he saw the black smoke rising from his body. I was mad at Axel, but I was madder at myself. If I hadn't been so insistent on leaving the Organization for answers, Axel wouldn't be dying. It was all my fault that he would be dead in a matter of moments. If I wasn't so weak, I could have stopped him. But he had to save me one last time.

I wasn't expecting him to say my name.

"He…was the only one I liked. He made me feel…like I had a heart." At least I know he felt the same way about me that I felt about him. I still feel that way about him, even now. But, Axel, you didn't have to go and kill yourself just to save me.

It was killing me to watch him die when I couldn't do anything to save him.

Sora stayed with him until he faded and I will be forever grateful that he did. I was absolutely miserable when Axel died, but I couldn't let Sora know that. Maybe now he knew how close I was to Axel, how close Axel was to me.

Even though I was in pieces over Axel's death, Sora seemed to have moved on relatively quickly. Then again, Axel didn't mean as much to him as he meant to me. I could tell that he was grateful that Axel had sacrificed himself to save him, but Sora will never understand why Axel did it.

Sora's made it to the World That Never Was, but I will forever be with Axel. It doesn't matter where. We spent a lot of time in Twilight Town at the Clock Tower. I'll meet him there in my next life. And he's going to be there waiting for me.

**I'm amazed that I didn't cry writing this. I still cry at Axel's death. :sob: Anyway...**

**I'll write requests for anyone who wants something done. Just message me adn tell me what you'd like. Review? thanks for reading!**


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